


All Seems Beautiful to Me

by TomasNostradamus



Series: Listen! I will be honest with you! [2]
Category: Anne with an E (TV)
Genre: F/M, Shirbert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:35:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23491030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TomasNostradamus/pseuds/TomasNostradamus
Summary: Thank you all so much for your positive feedback on my last story: 'Here is the Efflux of the Soul'! I was so flattered by all the comments I received and I hope this new story lives up to your expectations. This takes place directly after 'Efflux' so I encourage you to read that first if you haven’t already. I’ve made this part of the same series so it’s easy to find.This is the Saturday and Sunday after Anne and Gilbert's night at the Blythe-Lacroix house.
Relationships: Gilbert Blythe & Anne Shirley, Gilbert Blythe/Anne Shirley
Series: Listen! I will be honest with you! [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1689598
Comments: 40
Kudos: 262





	All Seems Beautiful to Me

**Author's Note:**

> This has taken a VERY long time to write. I’m still not sure that it’s done and I’m not completely happy with it, but I can only spend so much time on something, even when stuck at home all the time. As always, please forgive the errors and expect me to make small adjustments here and there if something is bothering me.
> 
> I have more that I’m not posting yet where we see what happens to the kids when they go back to school on Monday acting like nothing has changed and of course it doesn’t go as planned :) . It’s a little more humorous than this and 'Efflux,' so I’m not sure how well it will fit together, that’s why I’m not including it here. We’ll see if I can make it work a bit better now that this is off my mind.
> 
> Title is again from Song of the Open Road by Walt Whitman.

The rain continued in torrents through the night until ceasing just before dawn. The new day came slowly over the horizon, the sun’s warm amber glow streaming into the house.

Sebastian sat in the corner of the room, knitting some booties for little Delphine while she played happily on a blanket on the floor. It was at times like this when he caught himself marveling at his circumstances. Here he was, a black man in a white village, a brother, a farmer and a landowner; a father and a widower. Sebastian shook his head remembering back to when Anne attempted to comfort him after Mary’s death. _'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all’ she said. It may be true, but her timing was bloody awful._ He later learned she had said similar words to Gilbert after his father’s death with even more disastrous results. She has since promised that she will not be making this particular attempt at comforting a third time.

When the pain from the loss of his wife eventually dulled, he could be truly happy again. He truly believed he would get there and needed to for his daughter, but for now, he simply tried to find comfort at the bits of joy offered to him. Presently, the sight before him was supplying a satisfying amount of amusement. He chuckled to himself as he watched a slender, angelic, redhead, sleeping peacefully in the arms of an idiot. _‘She’s just a friend!’ ‘It’s not like that with Anne.’ Sure, you didn’t have me fooled for a minute. Mary my girl, I wish you could be here to make fun of these kids with me. How blind they’ve been. Not like me, I knew the moment I saw you, you were my girl._

There was no doubt that Gilbert had been forced to grow up too soon, he and Sebastian shared that, but Gilbert was still such a child inside, his reluctance to acknowledge and confess his feelings to Anne for so long being the prime example of this. Sebastian was glad they had found each other, he wasn't sure exactly how much help he could be as an adult role model for Gilbert, but he liked to think simply being here was often good enough. Gilbert wasn't stupid, he just needed some support. Sebastian glanced at the clock and suddenly cleared his throat loudly. If he didn’t wake them soon, they would all be in trouble.

Gilbert slowly blinked his eyes open, squinting in the sunlight; Anne didn’t stir. He caught Sebastian’s eye and startled in surprise. “What are you doing? Why are you watching me sleep?”

“Boy, what are you doing sleeping on the sofa? If you were in your room I wouldn’t be watching you. Problem solved.” Sebastian looked at Anne with his eyebrows raised and then glanced back to the boy. Gilbert looked down at her, finally remembering why he was on the sofa and who was pressed to him. He hugged her closer, kissing the top of her head. Having never felt as gratified as he did in that moment, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, saying a silent prayer of thanks. _This. This is what was missing; this is why I haven’t felt whole in so long._

“I gather everything went well then. So that means…” he put down his knitting, stood up and started dancing, “I win! I knew it would be you two from the minute you received her letter!”

Gilbert’s laughter woke Anne, who was even more disoriented than he was. “What is…? Oh…” a blush rose to her face as she retreated into Gilbert, hiding her face in his neck.

“Queen Anne, you are missing some of my very finest dance moves hiding your face in that fool,” Anne giggled as she slowly propped herself up on her arm and looked at him. Sebastian continued dancing and asked, “So what happens now?”

“What do you mean?” Anne asked nervously.

“Well, after confessing my undying love for Mary we were wed within the week.”

“Bash!” Gilbert yelled bringing is hands to cover his face. _That’s it, everything is ruined already._

“What?!?” Anne spoke up, climbing over Gilbert to speak to Sebastian. “I am 16 years old! I assure you I am not nearly ready for marriage. I’m fairly certain that I do not even want people to know about this… whatever this is!” _Oh no, that came out wrong._

Gilbert rose from the sofa, devastation evident on his face. Barely able to utter a word, he whispered, “What?”

“I’m so sorry, Gilbert, please don’t be offended. I promise you I am not ashamed, or anything that you must be imagining right now base on that tragical look on your face. I just don’t want people asking questions. Wondering what sort of witchcraft the orphan trash used to beguile the perfect Gilbert Blythe into her grasp!”

“You’re **not** trash!” both men yelled and then looked at each other, nodding in solidarity. “And he’s not perfect,” Sebastian added.

“Thanks for that,” Gilbert said dryly.

Sebastian smiled, “Hey, you know me, I’m here for you brother.”

“Regardless,” she continued, sounding calmer than she felt. Marilla’s tutelage in decorum was increasingly evident as she matured. “I would like to proceed cautiously. What are we? Are we friends now? Are we court-?”

“Yes,” he interrupted her with certainty before retreating slightly, “if you are agreeable to it, that is.”

“Yes, of course I am,” she smiled widely at him as he stared down at her with complete adoration. There was silence for a good minute while they just stared at each other.

“Well now,” Sebastian interrupted, “I’m glad we have all talked about our feelings and everyone is in love with everyone else but Anne, you need to get back to Green Gables. Rachel will be here in twenty minutes and I doubt ‘proceeding cautiously’ includes her pushing you to the altar by the end of the day.” Gilbert and Anne were suddenly rushing about the room, tying their boots and both making futile attempts to straighten their hair. Anne’s was still down and absolutely wild from not having it braided while she slept. Gilbert’s hair had increased two times in volume and Anne wasn’t really sure why or how that could have happened.

“Why didn’t you say something Bash?” Gilbert yelled.

“I just did! If I woke you earlier, I wouldn’t have been able to see this amusing scene,” Sebastian smiled confidently as he looked out the window. “Uh-oh,” his mood mellowed instantly, sensing danger, “Uh, she’s early, lovebirds. Get going.”

“Anne, let’s go,” he whispered as he grabbed her hand. They ran through the hall and rushed out the back. Gilbert shut the door softly just as Rachel entered through the front, timing the closures perfectly. They waited there and listened to the conversation inside, trying to figure out the best time to flee the property.

“Good morning Sebastian!” they heard her exclaim. “How fortunate we are to be through that rain, though I must say it was a treacherous walk over here.”

“I’m still not used to these big storms. Even when we got heavy rain on the ship, I was always in the belly. It was only the waves that I could feel, none of the wetness or noise. Could I offer you some tea, Mrs. Lynde?”

“Yes, of course Sebastian, thank you. Something to fortify me for the day ahead would be excellent.” She picked Delphine up off the ground and sat at the table. “Where is Gilbert this morning? I would expect him to be awake at this hour.”

“He’s already out in the orchard, ma’am,” Sebastian responded casually.

“He’s barely even lying!” Gilbert laughed, clearly impressed. Anne rolled her eyes.

Mrs. Lynde continued, “Such a hardworking young man! He is so responsible and driven!” Gilbert started to look uncomfortable. “You know, I was so worried about him after his father passed and he up and disappeared, but I’ve been right about him all along; he is quite a catch.” Rachel received her tea from Sebastian and continued, “I’ve heard talk around town and I know most all would welcome him into their family. He is kind, has impeccable manners and most importantly, he is respectful of authority; just the perfect young gentleman.” He winced at the words. _I’m so tired of hearing that._ Rachel continued, “I doubt the Barry girl would be an option, but certainly any of the other girls around that age would be available for him. I wonder if he would appreciate some help finding a match.”

Gilbert’s eyes went wide. _This can’t be happening. Can’t that woman leave anything alone?_

Sebastian spoke up, “I’ll let him know you offered Mrs. Lynde, but I think he has it figured out.”

“Sebastian, speak freely,” she said anxiously. “Do you know something?”

Gilbert and Anne held their breath at the back of the house.

“What I know is that Gilbert’s heart was decided long ago and that it is not my story to tell.”

“Long ago? Gilbert hasn’t been courting anyone that I’m aware of. What are you on about?”

“I didn’t say he was courting. I said his heart was decided. When and what he chooses to do about it is up to him.”

“Well, I’ll have you know that is an entirely unsatisfactory answer.”

Sebastian laughed, “I don’t doubt that, but at least you don’t have to live with him and watch him pine.”

Gilbert blushed lightly. _Relax, she already agreed to courting, she knows you like her and there is nothing of which to be ashamed._

“Well, regardless of your secrecy I maintain my belief that he is going to make some young woman very happy someday.”

Gilbert looked seriously at Anne, “You’re so lucky to have me,” he said before starting to laugh again.

Anne looked up at him with her eyes open wide in exasperation and genuine fear of potentially being caught by Avonlea’s most prolific gossip. “Gilbert Blythe!” she whispered angrily at him, “What are we going to do?!”

“Ah, well… we are going back to Green Gables, so I can talk to Matthew and Marilla,” he began somewhat nervously, “but we need to move fast. Let’s just hope she doesn’t look out the window as we go through the orchard. Looks like you may get to be the Bride of Adventure after all.” Gilbert took her hand in his and kissed it. “Ready, Anne?” She nodded at him as he pulled her away from the house hoping for the best.

“Say,” Rachel began curiously, “Isn’t that Anne’s coat hanging over there?”

Sebastian winced. _Damn. How am I supposed to help them, when they can’t even remember her coat?_ “I didn’t see that there. She must have left it here last time she cared for Delphine. You know how easy it is to forget your coat on these warming spring days.”

“Sure…” Rachel responded unconvinced, fairly certain she had seen Anne in that very coat as she chased down the Blythe boy on the way home from school yesterday. Thomas often wondered why she just sat on the porch or spent so much time looking out the window. _This is why, dear husband!_ _Mark my words; Anne has caught Avonlea’s most desirable young man._ She smiled to herself at the assumption. _Though didn’t I hear just the other day that the Sloan boy had shown interest in Anne as well by posting on that ridiculous board? Perhaps it is Gilbert that has caught Avonlea’s most desired young woman._ Her smile grew at the thought of Anne being so coveted after being unwanted for so long. _I hope that boy knows what he's getting into. B_ _eing with Anne is sure to be a challenge at times; he knows her combative tendencies better than most. I’m surprised he’s up for it. Though, Sebastian said his heart was decided, and the heart wants what the heart wants. Sensibility be damned._

\---

Meanwhile, mere hours after confessing their love for each other, in the early morning of a new day, Anne and Gilbert were now attempting to sprint through Gilbert’s sodden orchard and into the Cuthbert’s muddy fields, trying to not get stuck as they made their escape. Having finally made it over the hill, they were safe from Rachel’s potential viewing and they slowed down and started laughing at the absurdity of the situation. At least they could rest assured in their decision for Anne to stay the night; trudging through the fields was incredibly difficult even in daylight. Anne, having followed Gilbert through his orchard was now leading the pair down the steep, muddy hill when Gilbert slid to a stop.

He began nervously, trying not to reveal how vulnerable he felt, “Do you really not want people to know about us?”

She turned, kicking her toes into the mud before looking up at him towering over her. _Just be honest, explain what you’re so worried about. He’s not going to be mad; he’s not going to leave._ “It’s not so much that I don’t want them to know, I just don’t want them to talk about me, to talk about us.”

“Why?”

“What do you mean why? Have you paid any attention at all to my life since I’ve come to Avonlea?”

“Are you serious? I’ve pretty much done nothing but pay attention to you since you’ve arrived.”

Anne smiled, thankful that they were both comfortable continuing their honesty in the light of the new day. She continued, “Has anyone ever talked about you Gilbert? Not like Mrs. Lynde talking about how perfect you are just now, we’re both well aware that people do that all the time.” Gilbert rolled his eyes. “Have you ever heard anyone say anything unflattering?”

“After my dad died, I heard people talk.”

“What did they say? That is, if you don’t mind me asking.”

“I don’t mind; you can ask me anything. They said how they felt bad for me, to lose my family as a child. They wondered what could possibly come of someone who was orphaned so young. They wondered what I was going to do with my farm, what kind of deal they could get off a grieving boy. It wasn’t all bad though I guess, but it hurt being spoken about like I wasn’t there. I think what hurt most is that so many treated it as just another normal day, when it felt like my world was ending. I felt neglected and alone. Anyone could have stepped up to help in the days following the funeral, but only Matthew and Marilla offered themselves for assistance. That time though, before I left, it was hell.”

“Look, Gilbert, I know this is not the same. This?” she gestured between them and couldn’t help the smile that came to her face, “To us, this is an unbelievably good thing, right?” He nodded and smiled. “But I have heard people talk about me my entire life and it has **never** been good. Not everyone here will think us being together is acceptable. People are going to judge us- mostly me, and don’t deny it, you know they will. And honestly, I think I’m finally at the point where I don’t care what they say, but I do care if the noise and criticism prevent me from doing well on the examinations. They will **not** take that away from me, I have worked too hard for this.”

He slid down toward her and held her hands in his. “Okay, I get it, I do, and I’m sorry. We’ve both been working hard for the examinations and I agree; allowing that effort to be in vain would be stupid. I think you might be over thinking it, that’s all. I just don’t think people will be all that surprised.”

“Wha- what do you mean?” _Was I really so oblivious?_

“Well, you said Cole thought I had a crush on you, what, a year ago? And Diana is deceptively clever- has she ever said anything?”

“She has implied sensing something between us for a while, at least since I sent you that letter while you were away,” Anne said, blushing, “though I still maintain I was not intending anything romantical by sending it, I honestly just wanted you to know what was happening… I think.” After years of not being honest with him, or herself, she found it truly absurd how easy it was to talk with him about this now, “Though she has always been careful about not upsetting me so she doesn’t push too much. Jerry knew that I liked you though, apparently before I did, but I’m not sure how.”

“Well, he would have put that together after I ran into you both before leaving.”

“Please, I did not like you then,” she scoffed as she lost a bit of her confidence and looked away from him, slipping slightly on the hill before regaining her balance.

He smirked, “Well, you didn’t hate me that day and there was definitely something going on there. For my part,” he paused and looked away from her bashfully, “well, it has been brought to my attention recently that I am **not** subtle. When I said I’ve done nothing but pay attention to you since you got here, I wasn’t lying. Despite my best efforts, I think I have spent days of my life staring at you, and I’m sure our classmates have noticed. Bash knew I liked you from my third day on the ship when I simply wondered aloud if I’d ever see you again. The first day I met you, Charlie asked why I was walking with that orphan girl and I replied that I didn’t care where you were from- a cute girl is a cute girl. I also got in a fight with Billy for calling you names right after my dad died.”

“You what?!” Anne’s eyes were wide with what Gilbert assumed was anger.

Gilbert sighed. “I was on my way out of town when Billy started talking about you. I threw my bag at him and punched him in the face.”

“Gilbert Blythe! How-”

He interrupted her, “I’m not going to apologize for it Anne, he got what he deserved. Actually he probably got less than what he deserved, but I did what I could. I’m no fighter, but I definitely won that one.”

“How did you win? He was a LOT bigger than you back then!” Anne’s face was caught somewhere between wonder and confusion.

He spoke deliberately, “Apparently size is remarkably unimportant if you are fighting for something you believe in.”

She was quiet for a moment. “I wasn’t going to chastise you, if that’s what you were afraid of. I was going to ask how you dared punch him while I wasn’t around to witness it.”

He laughed, “Really?”

“Yes really, I mean, generally I don’t condone violence, but I’ve found it has its place when words have repeatedly proven ineffective.”

“Like when a boy is teasing you to get your attention and pulls your braid?”

“I concede that may have been a slight overreaction, but its effectiveness cannot be argued with.”

“I wholeheartedly disagree. I would argue that it was extremely ineffective.”

“How do you mean?” her argumentative nature was rising to the surface.

“Anne,” he laughed, “you were trying to get me to leave you alone and instead you made me fall in love with you. That is a spectacular failure! That’s a bigger failure than Moody trying to jump onto that rock the other day.”

“It would have been effective on a normal person,” she muttered, defeated.

“Well, then I’m thankful that I’m not normal. Anyway, back to what I was talking about, you can also add in that my first day back at school, I stood in front of everyone and told you that it was really good to see you, which I did not say to anyone else upon my arrival. I’m starting to think that the only one who didn’t pick up on my feelings for you was you.”

“Well, you could have said something!” she yelled through her laughter.

“I did! It just took me a while!” He truly loved arguing with her, but perhaps now was not the time. He began again, calmly, “Anne, they may talk, but it might not be as bad as you think. If our friends **are** our friends they should be happy for us. Don’t you agree?”

“Friends like Charlie?”

“That’s an odd choice to single out, but sure.”

“Charlie who posted the least imaginative notice possible for me on the board a couple days ago? Charlie who asked to walk me home yesterday and I told him ‘no’ only for him to elaborate disappointedly that it was your fault that I won’t walk with him? That he watched you ‘chase after’ me for two years and he thought that if we weren’t together by now that he would have a chance with me? Like he has just been biding his time for your crush to pass? You think he’ll be happy?” She looked at him expectedly. _What do you have to say now, Gilbert Blythe?_

He clenched his jaw. “No, maybe not,” he sighed. It wasn’t that he assumed no one else would be interested in Anne, he honestly couldn’t see how anyone would **not** be interested in her, but it hurt when it was a ‘friend’ who was showing interest when he was fully aware of how Gilbert felt. At the same time though, Charlie was right. Until last night, Gilbert hadn’t made his intentions known, so who was he to stop anyone else from showing interest in Anne?

“Anne, I am so sorry I didn’t confess my feelings for you sooner. Maybe then you wouldn’t have had to have that conversation with Charlie or suffered the embarrassment caused by what he posted on the board.”

“And maybe I would have hit you with another slate,” she joked, “I don’t think I was ready to hear what you had to say until yesterday and I certainly didn’t have my own feelings figured out until then either.”

“But maybe you would have if I said something!”

“There is no point in speculating on what could have happened, Gilbert Blythe! You can’t change it and I for one wouldn’t want to! I am plenty satisfied on our timing and I wouldn’t change any part of our story. Look, I’m not saying everyone will attack us or be upset. Let’s say you’re right and that they are overjoyed at the news. Even if they’re happy, do you think they’ll just continue on like normal? No! It will be utter insanity! It will be days of people asking how it happened, when did it happen, how soft is your hair, what do Matthew and Marilla think, did we kiss, are you a good kisser, you just have no idea the drama that will result from this development!”

“And am I?”

“Are you what?”

“Am I a good kisser?” he raised his eyebrows at her and that aggravating smirk appeared again below.

“I cannot believe we are having this conversation. This is absurd,” she turned away from him, gesturing wildly with her arms and looking up toward the sky.

He laughed, “What is?”

“Only a day ago I felt I couldn’t tell you anything and now it’s like you have some sort of spell over me and I just can’t stop talking.”

“You’ve never been able to stop talking. You can’t blame me for that; that is not my fault.”

“I mean talking to **you** about my feelings, Gilbert Blythe, and you pointed out quite bluntly that I haven’t been your friend, this is the most you’ve heard me talk in years. In fact, it might be the most that I’ve ever talked directly to you.”

“I know. I love it,” he smiled at her and raised his eyebrows again, “So? You didn’t answer my question.”

She sighed and clasped her hands together in front of her. “I think we both know that I found kissing you enjoyable, though I wouldn’t be too proud if I was you- I have no frame of reference for comparison. For all I know, you’re doing it wrong and I simply have no idea.”

“As long as you’re happy, I don’t care if I’m doing it wrong,” he laughed again, “but like anything, practice makes perfect.”

“Gilbert Blythe! You are a scoundrel!” she laughed through her feigned offense.

“I’m sorry, did I upset you?” he joked.

“Absolutely not,” she was having a hard time suppressing her laughter.

He placed his hand over his heart, “Please never stop laughing. You have no idea what that sound does to me.”

“Is that so?”

“I was thinking that if I could, I would live solely for the opportunity to make you laugh every day how I heard you laugh last night; and if I succeeded I would die a happy man.”

“I must say I’m a little disappointed, I feel like your goals should be larger than that.”

“I certainly have other goals, but I will decide where they rank in importance, thank you.” He paused and considered all she had said. “I will try to give you until after the examinations,” he conceded.

“Excuse me, you’ll **try**?”

“Yea, I’ll try. We will tell Matthew and Marilla and I will not tell another soul. I will watch my behavior so as not to cause anyone to think anything has changed between us but, while you may be smarter than everyone at school, I don’t think our classmates are **that** slow. They will notice something has changed and they’ll figure it out.”

“Not if we act like nothing has changed. You called me a fantastic actress just yesterday. We can do this.”

“I reiterate; I will try.”

He stared down at her for a moment, completely lost in her eyes. _So beautiful._

She stared back at him. “Do you know what I recently figured out?” she asked. He raised inquiring eyebrows in response. “When I talked to you about the take notice board and then went back to relay our conversation to Ruby she said that you spoke with such romance in your eyes. I had **no** idea what she was talking about because as far as I could tell, you were looking at me the same way you always looked at me. It wasn’t until then that I figured out that Ruby and I were both right. You **were** looking at me with romance in your eyes, but it was no different than any other time you looked at me, since the moment I met you in the woods.”

“See? I’m not so subtle. Wait,” he chuckled, “is that what you were trying to do when you met me after class that day? Look into my eyes?” _That was so awkward!_

“Yes! But instead I just made myself the fool! I was **so** embarrassed. After seeing your eyes, after my thoughts were confirmed, I couldn’t think of a single thing to say! Me! Speechless from looking a boy in the eyes! Can you even believe it’s come to this?” She took a deep breath as he laughed with her, “Gilbert, I’m not sure if you realize this, but when you look at me so intensely, like you **always** do, it feels like you can see into my soul.” He reached for her hand and started playing with her fingers. “I feel utterly exposed and I become afraid that you won’t like what you find. I think that’s another reason I always ran from you. I didn’t understand it and it was just too much. It’s easier to run away than to stay and get hurt when I inevitably say something that pushes you away.”

“Anne, this is… what’s this?” he had tuned her hand palm up and saw a bruise on the inside of her wrist.

“Um, I have a very good imagination so I’ve been pinching myself over the last twelve hours to just be sure this is real.”

He kissed her bruise. “Anne. This **is** real. This **is** happening. And given our history, I think we can assume nothing you can do or say will scare me away. You can count on me to stand beside you through anything and everything as long as you want me here.”

“Be careful Blythe, because I’ll call your bluff. Get ready for a test of endurance because I meant what I said last night; I’m not walking away from this.”

“Hold on, are you trying to **beat** me at being committed to this relationship?”

She smiled up at him as he laughed.

“As much as I love your competitive spirit, I’m serious Anne, I know we’re young, and I don’t want to scare you, but after hiding my feelings from you for so I long I want to be perfectly clear about my intentions. Please understand me when I say that I’m yours. I’ll wait for you; as long as it takes.”

“Who said you had to wait?” she tempted him.

“You! When you told Bash that you weren’t ready to get married! It was less than an hour ago, surely you remember. And I don’t disagree with you; we **are** too young to get married.”

“Wait, **was** that a proposal last night?”

“No! Of course not! I mean unless you want it to be,” he joked, “Look, I know I haven’t always been honest about my feelings for you, to you or myself, but I’d like to think that when I propose you will at least realize it is happening.”

“I would hope so,” she laughed as he pulled her up to him for a kiss.

She relinquished, enjoying herself for a moment before pushing him away, “Gilbert Blythe! Stop that! Someone will see us! We **just** talked about keeping this quiet!”

He held his hands out to his sides, “Who is going to see us? We’re in the middle of a field! There’s no one here!”

They heard a whistle off in the distance. She turned and saw Jerry jumping up and down across the field. Gilbert hung his head.

“You’ve **got** to be kidding me. Look what you’ve done!” she spun around and punched Gilbert in the arm in retribution, but the inertia of the punch threw her off balance and she began falling. Gilbert went to grab her but lost his balance in doing so and they both went tumbling down the steep, muddy hill.

They came to rest at the bottom, both splayed flat on their backs next to each other in opposite directions.

Jerry ran up to them to see if they were okay. He was trying not to laugh, but doing a terrible job. “Are you alright? Anne? Gilbert? Are you hurt?”

“I’m fine. Anne? Are you okay?”

“Bride of Adventure indeed,” she whispered to herself. _Do I have to ruin everything? Marilla is going to kill me._ She closed her eyes tightly to clear her head, trying to pretend this wasn’t happening, “This… is going to be… a long, long, day.”

Both Gilbert and Jerry chuckled. “Jerry? Anne would like to keep our relationship quiet for a while. We will be telling the Cuthberts of course and Bash already knows, but we would really appreciate it if you would keep this to yourself.”

“Sure. No problem.”

“Thank you,” he held out his hand up to shake Jerry’s but withdrew it after he saw the mud dripping from it. He pushed himself up on his elbows, “Could you give us a moment please?”

“Anne? Is that what you want?” Jerry checked in.

“Yes, Jerry, thank you,” Anne sighed. She propped herself up as Jerry walked away. “Not even Diana, Jerry! Do you hear me?”

He turned back to her and feigned innocence, “Why would I be talking to Diana?” he said as he winked and ran away from them.

“He certainly is protective of you,” Gilbert noticed aloud.

“Don’t worry about it, he’s like an annoying brother at best, or a needy puppy at worst. And I’m pretty sure he’s been sneaking around with Diana. You certainly don’t need to worry about Jerry.”

“What about Cole?”

“What **about** Cole?”

“You’re… very affectionate with him. Is he like a brother as well? Seeing that hug you shared in Charlottetown was like someone got into my nightmares and brought them to life to torture me.”

Anne laughed, “Are you saying you’re jealous of Cole?”

“Absolutely, I am. I guess less so now, knowing how you feel, but yea, I’m jealous.”

“You don’t need to worry about Cole. He is a kindred spirit to be sure, but he would be the first to tell you he has no romantic inclinations toward me. We agreed to marry someday if neither of us found our romantic ideals, but I daresay that is no longer an option.”

“How can someone who agrees to marry you not have any romantic inclinations toward you?”

“You’ll need to ask him about that someday for it’s his life to share, but for now, just trust me. He’s been pushing me your way since we saved Miss Stacey’s job. And he’s been bit annoying about it actually.” She looked at his face for the first time since falling, “Gilbert, your face is bleeding.”

“So is yours, Anne,” he responded, “We need to get these cuts cleaned up.”

“Obviously, Doctor Blythe. Agh,” she exclaimed as they both fell back down to their backs, staring up into the blue sky as the birds chirped through the air. “Gilbert, there’s something I need to know, before we… before we continue this,” she spoke hesitantly, close to losing her nerve.

“Yes?”

“Why me?”

“What?”

“You heard Mrs. Lynde. You could have anyone on this island, except Diana apparently, why me?”

Gilbert was silent for a moment while he gathered his thoughts. “Because when I held your hand, I couldn’t remember that there was anyone else in the room. Because when I look into your eyes, I can’t see a future without you in it. Because when you say my name, you remind me that you are my home. Anne, sometimes when you talk about me it’s like you think that I’m above you, like you aren’t good enough for me and I assure you, you could not be more wrong. I, like you, am an orphan, with little means to provide for someone and I’m living with a family most people here won’t even speak to. I’m not nearly the catch that you are.”

“Please don’t mock me.”

“Anne, I told you I would never mock you and I need you to trust me on that. You are without doubt the most spectacular and intriguing person I’ve ever met. I can think of nothing I’ve done to deserve you and I am absolutely stunned that you would even consider being with me. I thought, and wrongly assumed, that you would never have any interest in me so I tried to forget my feelings for you. There’s a woman who works at Doctor Ward’s office with me, Winnifred Rose. We went to tea a couple times. She is intelligent, witty, and beautiful. Anyone with eyes would say that she is perfect, but I quickly learned she wasn’t perfect for me, because she isn’t you. Regardless of the fact that I was certain you would never reciprocate my feelings, and even with how remarkable a person she is, I wasn’t able to conjure up any feelings for her besides those of friendship. I eventually figured out that even if I couldn’t be with you, it wasn’t fair to either of us to pursue the relationship. She will be the perfect girl for someone, but for me there has only ever been you, and I was a fool to think I could find happiness elsewhere. You may think I could have anyone on this island, and I know you mean it as a compliment, but it means nothing to me, because the only person I could ever see myself with, the only person who I want to be interested in me, is you. You are **so** much more than you know,” he paused, reaching for her hand and intertwining their fingers, his thumb stroking her palm, “For someone who exudes such confidence, you are constantly selling yourself short, Anne Shirley Cuthbert.”

He let his words hang in the air before continuing on, “I would have noticed you, you know. Had you not mentioned Ruby, I mean. I thought you were asking me to post for you on the board.”

Anne had gone quiet at his proclamation. She said gently, “I thought you weren’t a take notice kind of guy.”

“I don’t know that I am, but I would have been for you. I knew I couldn’t post for Ruby and that seemed like the right thing to say so I wouldn’t hurt her. I did write a couple of notices down for you, but I never got the courage to post them.”

“I find it hard to imagine you lacking courage. What did they say?”

“You’ll see. I’ll give them to you. They’re just little thoughts; don’t get too excited, I’m not as good with words as you are.”

“Well, I look forward to seeing them just the same. I’m curious what you came up with though; being as there is not a lot that can be said regarding my appearance and that is what most of the notices seem to be about.”

“You’re joking, right?”

“Of course not, I am well aware that I am not much to look at.”

He rose back up to his elbows, looking at her in complete bewilderment, “What?” he croaked.

“Certainly this can’t be news to you; you’ve spent enough time staring at me over the years.”

He laughed, “I stare at you because you are exquisite and I truly lack the ability to look elsewhere when you are anywhere near me!”

“I’m a curiosity at best, Gilbert Blythe. I’ve come to terms with it and now, having chosen to court me, you may as well too. It’s fine, really, I have many wonderful attributes and I always hoped that if I ever found a companion, he would be with me because of who I am, so I assure you, that is enough.”

“It may be enough, but that isn’t the extent of my attraction to you, Anne. I promise you, you are quite attractive. Uncommon? Certainly, but in the best way possible. I’m not going to lay here and listen to you ridicule your hair or your freckles or your nose when it is simply not true.”

Anne propped herself up now, eyes narrowed at him, “Excuse me, sir, my nose is perfect.”

“I know. Now please believe that about the rest of you,” he reached for her, pulling them both up to a seated position, keeping her hands in his, “Being different doesn’t make you unattractive.”

“Well, it certainly doesn’t mean that it does.”

“You’re right, absolutely, but I wish you could see what I see.”

“All I can see is the girl who has been ridiculed for her looks nearly every day for 16 years.”

“You’ve been ridiculed by small minded people who are jealous of your intellect, passion and spirit. Those who are your inferior in every way seek to bring you down by attacking your appearance, for no other reason than it’s different from the monotonous standard of beauty we’ve become accustomed to. Anne, when you came over last night I was so overwhelmed at the sight of you with your hair down that I was surprised I could catch my breath well enough to say hello. When you hugged me, I couldn’t believe I remained standing. When I was homesick at sea, I only had to stare into the waters of the Caribbean that matched your eyes so perfectly and you were with me, telling me to come home someday- reminding me that I had a home to return to,” Gilbert was lost in his head, finally finding the words to describe the enchanting girl before him, “Your hair is the purest reflection of fire, a mirror of your passionate personality and the reason I was able to push through the pain of shoveling coal; I could see your likeness in the flames and feel your spirit in the heat. The freckles you so often complain about are simply proof that you’ve been kissed by the sun and I’m not quite sure how to say this without sounding like a complete cad, but feeling you lay next to me was the most amazing I’ve ever felt, and not just because I’m hopelessly in love with you. You. Are. Incomparable.”

There was silence as they stared at each other.

When she finally responded, it was in a whisper. “I find it absolutely fascinating that you seem to be the only one who can cause me to forget everything I’ve learned about the English language, though just so you know, I couldn’t breathe when I saw you either. You looked like you just fell out of a damn fairy tale.”

He laughed while playing with her muddy fingers. “Listen, Anne, I know that while you may be flattered and I hope we’ve come to an understanding by now that I would never lie to you, I also know that you still don’t believe me,” tears formed in her eyes at his thorough understanding of her mind, “I know that I can’t undo 16 years of damage by holding your hands and telling you nice things, but I promise that every day of my life, starting today, I will tell you how beautiful you are, and someday,” he paused while he kissed her hands, mud and all, “someday, you’ll believe me. I know that you are used to criticizing your looks and that it doesn’t affect you, so try to remember that it hurts me when you speak so poorly of yourself. Being the selfless person you are, maybe it will help break you of the habit.”

Tears were now streaming down her face, leaving streaks in their wake, “Thank you, Gilbert Blythe, thank you for trying to fix me.”

He wiped her tears away, smearing mud across her cheeks, “Anne, I don’t think you don’t need ‘fixing.’ You’ve just been told lies for far too long and it’s time you hear and believe the truth.”

He got himself up and offered a hand down to assist Anne.

“I don’t need your help,” she said, but she took his hand anyway.

He pulled her firmly to him and whispered in her ear, “I know.”

\---

They were both covered in mud and the remnants of last year’s crop as they arrived at Green Gables hand in hand, cheeks flecked with blood. _That would have been a better field to travel through before we did the spring tilling and loosened all the soil. Perfect timing as always. Marilla is going to kill me when she sees me in this state. Though at least I’ll die having been kissed._ She smiled to herself at the thought.

As they walked up to the house, they came across Matthew heading into the barn. He stopped walking and stared at them, mouth agape. He knew Anne didn’t make it home last night and assumed it was because of the storm, but he certainly didn’t expect this.

“Whatcha, um, watcha doin’ there Anne?”

“The fields are a bit damp,” she said airily, “I would recommend avoiding strolling through them for a couple days.”

“Yes, sure. Gilbert,” he nodded to him by way of greeting.

Gilbert cleared his throat, “Mr. Cuthbert, good morning. I apologize for being so bold as to ask you such a question in this state. I have imagined having this conversation with you many times, and I assure you in every version I have appeared dressed in my very best, not muddied from head to toe. If you’ll forgive my appearance, I was wondering if I could have your blessing to court Anne.”

“I, um, I don’t see how my opinion could matter. But just the same,” he paused, “I appreciate your asking.” Matthew shifted his weight to continue on his way to the barn.

“Your opinion absolutely matters,” Gilbert said before Matthew had the chance to leave. “I’m not asking if you’ll allow it; I know that if Anne wants something, she’s going to do it regardless of what anyone says,” he smiled at Matthew who smiled back and nodded in agreeance.

 _What, am I invisible?_ “Excuse me, Anne is right here, stop talking about her like she isn’t,” she added, asserting herself.

He squeezed her hand in his, boldly pulling her closer to him. “I’m asking for your blessing. Anne loves you, I think more than anyone, and it is important to me that we have your support.”

Anne beamed up at him, holding his hand in front of her with both of hers.

“Then you have it, son.”

“Thank you, sir. I’d shake your hand, but…”

“You all better go wash up, Marilla won’t be too pleased to find you like this.”

“Oh, and Mathew,” Anne added, “Let’s just keep this to ourselves for now. I don’t want it getting around town just yet.”

“Who would I tell?” Matthew smiled.

As they turned to head to the house, Marilla was just stepping outside. She was on her way to the chicken coop when she spotted them and dropped her basket.

“What on earth have you two gotten into?!? Gilbert Blythe, I’m surprised at you, you're always such a well behaved young man, I thought for sure you would be a good influence on her, maybe be able to stop her from getting lost in her adventures! Were you two stuck outside all night?”

“Oh Marilla, of course not. I got to Gilbert’s house before the worst of the rain, but got stuck there for the night. This morning, we had to escape out the back door like common thieves because Rachel arrived to help care for Delphine and we didn’t want her to see us lest she rush us off to the church to get married. We ran through the orchard and after we got over the hill, we slipped on some mud, and both of us just came crashing down the hill, all this to say I’m dreadfully sorry about my dress, Marilla and I will clean it right away.”

“Well, the adage stands; you certainly know how to get yourself into trouble,” she paused to pick up her basket, “Gilbert, you’re late.”

Having been chuckling at Anne’s retelling of their morning, he sobered under the scrutiny of Marilla’s gaze. “Pardon?”

“I assume you’re here to ask me something.”

“Yes of course, Ms. Cuthbert, could I please have your blessing to court Anne?”

“Of course you have it, Gilbert, but you’re late, I expected you here weeks ago.”

“Excuse me?”

“Anne’s 16th birthday was weeks ago, I thought you would be breaking down the door that day.”

“Did everyone know except us?” Anne asked.

Marilla scoffed, “I’m fairly certain Gilbert knew, so everyone except you.”

“I told you so,” Gilbert said quietly, with Anne glaring at him in response.

“Marilla, we really don’t want this getting out yet, can you please not mention it to anyone?”

“I don’t see why, but I will do my best. You’ll have to watch your behavior though. It’s not hard to keep a secret way out here at Green Gables but you’ll do well to remember that everything’s different now and your classmates are going to pick up on it at school I’m sure.”

“No they won’t. They won’t have any idea! We will just continue acting the same way as before.”

“You’re going to keep acting like Gilbert’s in love with you and you are blissfully unaware? I’m sorry Anne, but it won’t be as easy as you think it will.”

Marilla headed to the coop and Gilbert squeezed Anne’s hand again, “I need to get going, Bash will need my help today.”

“You’re not going in to help Doctor Ward?”

“No, I’m taking a bit of a break from that- after Mary and all.”

“You know I meant what I said that day, you will make a wonderful doctor.”

“I know you meant it and I think I’ll get there, I just need some time. I was excited to learn about new medical research happening in Toronto, I just need to figure out the right path for me. Care to join me on a walk tonight?”

“I’d be delighted,” she rose and kissed him on the cheek.

“Anne! Gilbert!” Marilla yelled across the yard, “If you don’t want people to know, you need to act like there is nothing to know about!”

“Sorry Ms. Cuthbert.”

“Sorry Marilla.”

Gilbert retreated backward a few steps, hands in his pockets and a smile on his face as his eyes cut through hers and into her soul, “I’ll see you later, Anne,” he said before mouthing, “I love you.”

Having been rendered speechless yet again, Anne watched him walk away until she couldn’t see him anymore.

“Anne, I’m very happy for you,” Marilla began, “but if you don’t get that dress washed this instant you will **not** be seeing that boy this evening.”

“Of course, Marilla, sorry.”

“Maybe as we wash you can tell me about your evening? I trust you behaved yourselves,”

“Of course, Marilla, you know Gilbert; always the perfect gentleman,” she sighed dreamily, “I’ll tell you everything.”

\---

The day at Green Gables passed relatively uneventfully until Rachel delivered Anne’s coat just before dinner.

“Good day, you two!” She said cheerily as she burst through the door without knocking. “I was just caring for little Delphine today and I noticed Anne’s coat was left behind and I thought I would drop it off on my way home! It’s a bit damp still from the rain yesterday, I assume, but I thought it would be just as well to have it dry out here at Green Gables.”

Anne blanched at the insinuation. _She knows. Oh, no, no, no, no this is terrible._

“Thank you Rachel! How very kind of you,” Marilla took the coat and hung it up. “I sent Anne over last night with some plum puffs and she got stuck there because of that terrible storm. Ended up helping with Delphine through the night to give poor Bash and Gilbert a break and the boys were kind enough to offer her the sofa to rest upon until the rain ended. She only arrived home just after dawn complaining about how treacherous her walk back was. I hope you didn’t have too much trouble?”

Rachel was uneasy; _Could I have gotten it so wrong? No, I don't think so._ She pressed on, “It was indeed a rough journey this morning. Though I seem to have fared better than Anne here, what has happened to your face, child?”

“I slipped and fell down a hill, Mrs. Lynde. If you think my face is bad, you should have seen my dress, I spent most the day cleaning it. You know me; I have the grace of a blind mule.” She started praying that Rachel had not seen Gilbert, and if she had that he gave her a different excuse.

“You know, Gilbert’s face was similarly cut up this morning when he returned to the house unexpectedly for some breakfast. He usually eats breakfast before leaving to work the orchard, but today, something made him forget.”

“Dear me!” Marilla interrupted, “What happened to him?”

“He **said** he was too busy watching where he was stepping through the mud and ran into some tree branches.”

“Well, that sounds plausible enough,” Anne said, “I know everyone around here thinks he can do no wrong, but certainly he’s just as capable as the rest of us of occasional acts of clumsiness.”

“Maybe so, though he **is** generally very careful. I don’t think I’ve seen a scratch on him since he was a boy. And I've not known tree branches to soak a man through with mud." Anne's shoulders dropped in defeat. "Though, I would agree with you that this village is very fond of that boy. I’ve heard many people hoping that his eyes would soon favor their daughters.”

“Is that so?” Marilla questioned innocently.

“Sebastian even said that Gilbert’s heart was already decided and that a new courtship may soon be upon us!”

“Good for Gilbert,” Anne said, growing annoyed. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Lynde, but what does this have to do with us?”

“Well, you’re of courting age now, what if he intends to court you? Wouldn’t you want to know?”

“Oh I surely would,” _That’s it, I need to get out of here,_ “but I would hope that if he is intending to court someone he would feel free to do so without the scrutiny of your ever-present gaze!” Anne stormed out of the kitchen.

“Marilla, you have become quite the liar,” Rachel whispered.

“I have not spoken any lies, but I have omitted some details,” she responded quietly.

“So I trust my assessment is correct and that our Anne has indeed caught the eye of Gilbert Blythe.”

“That boy has been gone for her since he met her. I’m surprised your ‘ever-present gaze’ didn’t notice. And Rachel, if you spread this around town, I assure you will never be welcomed in this house again. They want to keep this to themselves until the exams are over so they can focus on studying without the barrage of questioning that will come along with this development. You need to respect their decision.”

“Very well, then.”

\---

After dinner, Anne wandered over to Gilbert’s house, to be greeted by Sebastian and Delphine playing on the porch. “Wow, you two really had quite a fall down that hill, if Gilbert is telling the truth that is.”

“Unfortunately he is; my clumsiness knows no bounds.”

“I trust you got those cuts cleaned up good?”

“Yes, of course, Sebastian. Is Gilbert around?”

“He’s talking to his dad,” Sebastian directed. Nodding in response, she headed to the small graveyard where she found him looking despondently at his father’s plaque, speaking some nonsense about not deserving to be happy so soon after losing Mary.

“Good evening Mr. Blythe,” she began and she sat down next to Gilbert.

His eyes furrowed at the formality, “Good evening Miss Shirley-Cuthbert?”

“Quiet Gilbert, I wasn’t talking to you,” she shot him a look before addressing the grave again, “Mr. Blythe, first of all, I’d like to apologize for your son’s interruption; he tends to think he is quite important,” she teased before continuing more soberly. “Also, I’m sorry for not visiting recently. Gilbert returned home soon after I shared his letter with you and I figured he would give you plenty of company when he was back. I also assumed he would have thought it strange for some random classmate to be visiting you in his absence, I mean, I know I’m odd, but that seemed to be pushing it, even for me.” Gilbert chuckled and shook his head. _Why doesn't it surprise me that she visited my dad while I was away?_

“I overheard Gilbert speaking to you just now, and you needn’t worry; I will straighten out these fool notions of which he speaks. I promise I will explain to him that happiness isn’t something you earn or something you deserve. The pain that lingers from Mary’s death and even your own will not be sated simply because Gilbert has found some happiness in the midst of all the sorrow. I’m sure you understand better than most, having simultaneously experienced the joy of Gilbert’s birth and the tragic loss of your wife.”

Gilbert was surprised, “How did you know about that?”

“This is Avonlea, people talk.” She collected her thoughts and continued, “Gilbert,” she turned toward him and this time it was her holding his hands, “If you find happiness in this world, you don’t need to feel bad about its timing or find ways to atone for it. You don’t need to question its validity or merit or your perceived right to experience it in the midst of such tragedy. Life isn’t a balance sheet; it doesn’t provide enough good and bad to come out even in the end and it certainly doesn’t care about timing. You and I understand better than most how much grief and suffering can fall on a person. Happiness is a gift, regardless of when or how it arrives. Happiness is something you have to seek out, and it can be so elusive; like rain in a desert, but if you’re very patient and very lucky, even after great lengths of despair, you can still find it. It comes, like a thirst quenching rain, breathing life into you; giving you the strength to survive the bad. I’ve learned that when you find happiness, you need to grab onto it and hold on tight; do not let it go for anything, for you don’t know when it will be ripped away.”

Tears had formed in his eyes at her words. She leaned into him and he wrapped his arms around her. “See dad, I told you she was perfect.”

“You know it is okay not to be happy all the time, right? You don’t need to pretend everything is fine when it’s not. I know you did that with your dad at the end. No one in school knew how sick he was. You didn’t need to go through that alone.”

“But you said it yesterday: blithe. I am expected to act a certain way. Lighthearted and happy, it’s in my name. People have certain expectations of my behavior; I’m just doing my best.”

“Yes, but you’re still grieving and you need to know that’s okay. Also, know that I’m here if you ever need to talk about it. I’ll listen.”

“I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but I’m not exactly great at talking about my feelings.”

“You’ve spoken multitudes about your feelings for me the last day or so, so much so that I’m still overwhelmed at being the recipient of those feelings.”

“Those are happy feelings. And even then, I hid them for three years and attempted to court someone I’m not interested in just to avoid being honest with myself. When my dad died, I literally sailed to the other side of the world to avoid dealing with my feelings. Then Mary died, and I found that I couldn’t run. I had Bash and Delphine to worry about. I had to return to my house of death; I didn’t have a choice. Anne, you will never understand what your hug did for me that day.”

“You held on to me so tightly, it felt like you were afraid you’d be lost if you let go.”

“That is exactly how I felt. It felt like my world was ripping apart again and holding on to you was the only thing keeping the pieces together. That was the second real hug I’ve received since my dad died and it saved me. It kept me grounded, it kept me here. It reminded me that there is good in the world even though it feels like I keep losing everything I love.” He took a deep, shaky breath, “I think that’s why I tried to push past my feelings for you. If I was with Winnie and I lost her, it wouldn’t crush me. Which sounds callous, I know, but I’m so sick of losing those I love. I know whatever this becomes it is only just beginning right now, but already the thought of you being taken away from me is absolutely unbearable.”

“Gilbert Blythe, I’m not so arrogant to make a promise that I can’t keep.”

He laughed, “Yes you are.”

“Fine, yes I am, but this isn’t the time. I assure you though; I will do everything in my power to never leave you. As you said, I am yours for as long as you’ll have me. As for the rest, we will simply have to make the most of the time that is given to us. You promised me a walk. Shall we?”

“Yes, my queen.”

\---

The girls stood outside the church the next morning handing out the papers when Diana spoke up, “Anne? May I ask you a question?”

Anne stiffened, “Of course, what is it?”

“Charlie said he asked to walk you home, but you said no and ran off.”

“Oh, you know me. I said a lot of things, I’m sure there was a no in there somewhere,” she responded airily as the girls giggled, “What of it?”

“He said he worries for you,” she said timidly.

“Worries for me? Why?”

“He said that since you think so much and that you’re so emotional, it might damage your ability to have children in the future.”

“ **What**?!? It is of absolutely no concern of Charlie’s what my future holds regarding this matter and I don’t even understand how that could possibly be true! I’m sure there are intelligent women having babies all the time! Would any of you call your mothers unintelligent? Or lacking passion? Diana, your mother is one of the most emotionally repressed women I know, but when it comes out she is explosive! And look at Rachel Lynde! I would be the first to point out her many negative qualities, but I assure you lack of intelligence is not among them and she’s birthed a dozen! Clearly ability to conceive is not an issue there.”

Anne and the girls continued discussing the matter as the parishioners passed them by.

“Well, surely there’s someone who could answer all this,” Diana added.

Just then, Gilbert walked out of the church, and Anne’s mind immediately went blank at the sight of him. _He is so wonderful. And he’s mine._ She let the slightest smile escape before biting her lip and she realized all the girls were looking at her.

After realizing what they were insinuating, she began shaking her head. “No. No, no. No, no, no, no, no.” They were suddenly pushing her toward him. “Please don’t make me do this.”

“Uh, hello?” Gilbert asked.

“Anne has a question,” Josie stated emphatically.

 _This has got to be one of the most humiliating moments of my life, and that is truly saying something._ She took a deep breath. “Is… it true… that women of intelligence and passio…uh…emotion…are… doomed to be infertile? Is that how repro…duction works?”

He shifted uncomfortably on his feet before clearing his throat, “Um, there’s nothing I’ve seen in my medical experience that would lead me to believe that. So, uh… no,” he paused and took a deep breath, “Is that all?”

No one responded. “Good day, then, ladies, Anne? May I speak with you?”

The girls gasped and giggled as they walked over to a tree out of earshot.

Gilbert’s eyes were huge. “What was **that**?”

“I assure you, that was **not** my idea. I cannot put into words how embarrassed I am, please forgive me, I know that is not an appropriate question to ask you.”

“Anne, it’s perfectly appropriate for you to ask me that. I’m not mad. Well, I’m mad that you would even consider believing such a thing, but beyond that… where did you get that idea from?”

“Diana said that Charlie is worried that I won’t be able to have children because thinking too much and being emotional causes infertility.”

Gilbert clenched his jaw and his fists, “I’m going to kill him. He has no authority on the matter and needs to learn to keep his mouth shut.”

“Relax, I think your response set us all right, it would just be nice if these things were taught to us instead of hearing false information from a jealous, misinformed sycophant.”

“Sycophant?” he suppressed a laugh.

“Yes, sycophant. Do I need to spell it out for you?” she teased.

Gilbert put his hands in his pockets and gave her that crooked smile she loved so much, “I don’t think that will be necessary. Can we walk after lunch?”

Anne looked back toward the girls who were all staring at them, “As long as it’s okay with Marilla. I should get back to them before they suspect something,” she looked at him trying to suppress a smile as she turned to walk away, “I’ll see you later.”

“Hey, Anne?” She turned back to him. “You look beautiful today,” he said gently.

She gasped, “Gilbert Blythe! You can’t say that!”

“I disagree, I can since no one else heard me,” he smiled smugly.

“That’s not the point! You’re making me blush and now I need to go over to the girls in this… state!” she had started by teasing but it had gradually developed into genuine frustration. She stepped toward him before continuing, “If there is nothing else, **sir** , I’ll be on my way.”

“I love you,” he said quietly.

“Aagh!” she yelled through her teeth and pushed him away before turning to walk back toward her friends.

“Anne!” shouted Diana, “What was that about? Did he upset you?”

“Nothing I couldn’t handle.”

“Now that I see you together I notice you both have scratches on your face. What happened?”

“I can’t speak for him. I slipped and fell down a hill yesterday. I think Rachel said he ran into a tree. ”

“He looks like he’s laughing; did he make fun of you?”

“No, Diana, he did not. Girls, I have a solution to our problem. It’s called Beltane,” she continued on, brushing past Diana’s concern, “let’s meet after dark, by the Lake of Shining Waters.”

\---

Marilla was just walking out the door as Gilbert arrived at Green Gables later that afternoon. “Gilbert Blythe, come here,” Marilla reached out her arms to him, “I wanted to do this yesterday, but the mud was an overriding concern.”

Gilbert walked into her arms and Marilla enveloped him in a hug of surprising strength. Gilbert collapsed into it, though he now stood taller than the aging woman.

“Gilbert, what’s wrong?” Marilla asked, feeling him shudder as he released his breath.

Gilbert stepped back, “Nothing ma’am, I just, I really appreciate the hug, if you don’t mind me saying,” he began quietly, “Ever since my dad died, I don’t really receive a lot of hugs. And I’ve never felt what it might be like to hug a mother, not that I think of you as my mother, I just…”

“Oh, dear child, I never even considered,” she pulled him back to her, “You know, I never knew the power of a hug until Anne arrived. It still astonishes me that a child so deprived of love, is able to give it so fully and freely.”

Marilla released him and straightened out his shirt. “We share that astonishment then,” he smiled at her.

“I’m here!” Anne said as she walked out the door, “is everything okay?”

“Everything is perfectly fine,” Marilla responded. “Now, since we are proceeding under the guise that you two are not courting, you are permitted to be alone without a chaperone, which means I need to be able to trust you two to behave yourselves. Anne, please don’t ruin another dress, fall in a pond, or fall out of a tree. Gilbert I don’t doubt that you will be a perfect gentleman?”

He suppressed his wince and said, “I will treat your Anne with nothing but the love and respect she deserves. We’ll just be walking through the orchard if that’s okay. We’re less likely to run into anyone if we stay on my land.”

“I find that acceptable, I’ll see you both later then.”

They walked in silence for a while standing far enough apart that no one would suspect anything beyond friendship. When they entered the orchard, Gilbert reached out and took Anne’s hand in his. The apple blossoms were in bloom and some petals fell from the canopy with every soft breeze that flowed through the trees.

Anne put her free hand on her chest, “Oh how perfectly magical!” She had stopped walking suddenly and their arms were stretched between the two for a moment before Gilbert rebounded back toward her.

“Have you never seen the blossoms?”

“I’ve never walked through them, no. I didn’t want to trespass.”

“From my understanding, you’ve trespassed everywhere in Avonlea, but you didn’t think it was okay to walk through your neighbor’s orchard?” he laughed.

“I didn’t want Ruby to find out and think I was trying to steal you away from her.”

“I’m still upset about that by the way. I was not Ruby’s to steal. She had no right to tell you or any of the other girls that you’re not allowed to talk to me.”

“Well, I know that **now**. But I can’t exactly go back in time and change it can I?”

“I suppose not.” They continued on for a while in silence. Anne removed her hand from his when a stronger breeze came through and let loose a shower of petals. She reached up with her arms above her head and spun in a circle.

Gilbert was struck by the beauty before him. “Anne, where do you find the courage to just do what you want to do?”

“What are you talking about? You don’t need my help with that. You wanted to leave Avonlea, so you did. You wanted to split your orchard with a man you met on the other side of the world, so you did.”

“That was different, I was running away; running is easy. And that was part of the deal with Bash coming back to help me. Even with pursuing medicine, after second guessing my calling and deciding that it is indeed the right path for me, I’m hesitant to talk about it to some because I know they think I’m overreaching. And I don’t care what they think, but I feel like everyone expects me to be a certain thing and now that I’m not, I guess I’m just having trouble being myself now, when so many expect me to be the same as I was before my dad died. I’ve changed, and I don’t think the people here realize that, I don’t think people here expect anyone can change.”

“I agree with you that people around here are slow to change, though I’ve noticed change in Matthew and Marilla, and even Rachel over the past few years. I don't know that you've changed so much as grown into yourself. You're still maturing, so some change is expected, but you’re still the kind charismatic boy who is adored by his friends and praised throughout the community for your good manners and respectfulness.”

“Yes… the perfect gentleman…” he rolled his eyes, “That is apparently what everyone thinks I am. I’ve heard enough of that in the last two days alone to turn my stomach. I feel I can’t properly express myself sometimes because I’m constrained by this bubble of expectations.”

“Isn’t that what propriety is, after all? Suppressing most feelings and reactions to be accepted in society?” she laughed. “Gilbert, I didn’t learn about actual societal expectations of my behavior until I came to Avonlea and though I try to control the worst of my temper, even now I find those expectations stifling. I refuse to contain my joy or anger just because it’s unexpected that I express myself the way I do. I feel things with everything that I am. If someone doesn’t like my behavior, I’ve come to realize there are plenty of people perfectly capable of accepting me just as I am. Though I’m sure courting me is hardly expected of you, and you’re doing that. So maybe you’re popping a hole in that bubble anyway. What would you do Gil, if someone came along and popped the rest of your bubble? Would you truly act all that differently?”

“You mean if people didn’t always expect me to be the perfect, nice respectable boy any family would openly receive into theirs? Oh I could think of a few things.”

“Oh, please, everyone calls you perfect because you are! You wouldn’t dream of doing anything untoward or disrespectful!”

“Maybe not disrespectful, but I believe you have very little insight to my dreams,” he said with a smirk.

“Then give me an example! How would Gilbert Blythe, the perfect gentleman, change his behavior if he were released from his bubble?”

He stopped walking and abruptly pulled her to him, his mouth was suddenly on hers with such passion that her initial response was only a whimper of acquiescence as her knees went weak. His hands were on her hips holding her to him as closely as possible while her arms wrapped up around his neck. He eased the kiss for a moment to lightly caress her top lip with the tip of his tongue and her jaw dropped in response. When he entered her mouth, Anne’s eyebrows shot up in surprise, but, always a fast learner, she soon responded in kind. Time became inconsequential. Anne had never felt so adored; she had never felt so important. She felt as though he was worshiping her; she was a woman, infinitely and unabashedly loved. When he eventually broke the kiss, he left his lips resting on hers and whispered, “I would do something like that,” he paused and kissed her gently again, “every time I see you.”

She said nothing, quite literally left breathless and speechless by his actions. As their breathing calmed, she whispered, “And I would welcome that greeting, though I admit it’s seemingly out of character.”

He remained close to her, his hands still on her hips, their foreheads resting against each other. “It’s not at all; that is entirely within my character. In fact, I think it is the most honest display of my character to date. You’re not the only one who feels things with everything that you are. I have been hiding my feelings for you for years; I just hadn’t figured out a proper way to express myself until now.”

Anne was still breathless and remained silent which Gilbert found unsettling.

“Anne, I’m so sorry, was it too much?”

“No, no of course not, don’t you dare apologize,” she answered quickly, “If you ever did something I was uncomfortable with I assure you, you would know and you would not get the opportunity to do so a second time.”

 _That’s my girl._ He smiled. “Then what is it? You look like you’re arguing with yourself inside your head.”

“I’ve always known this, but it sounds like you don’t: You **are** so much more than people think you are; so much more than they expect and **so** much more than the perfect gentleman. Don’t let others’ expectations limit you; it’ll be a disservice to us all. Although you probably shouldn’t greet me like that, not unless you are one hundred percent certain that we are alone, and then, please,” she licked her lips, “please do that.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” he smirked.

Her arms had relaxed so her hands were now resting on his neck and she pulled him down to kiss her. It was far more tentative than the one he initiated, but tender and equally meaningful. He melted into her realizing she desired him.

She pulled back, “Gilbert Blythe, if you approached everything in your life with the confidence you’ve just shown me, you will be unstoppable. I truly believe you have the ability to change the world.”

“And I truly believe I’m capable of nothing without you by my side. But I agree with you; **we** will be unstoppable and we **will** change the world.”

“Thank you so much for choosing me.” She pulled him to her in the fiercest hug she could manage as tears fell down her face.

He spun her around slowly, his lips whispering against her ear, “I’d love to take credit for this but it was hardly a choice; it was destiny.” He placed her gently back on the ground as the wind picked up again and the blossoms fell around them. “But rest assured, my beautiful Anne with an E: from this day on, I will choose you every second of every day.”


End file.
